Self-introduction letter
Dear Professor Blackstone,
I hope this email finds you well. I am writing to introduce myself as a student in your effective communication class. My name is Athirah Nurin Syakirah, though I prefer to go by Syakirah. I am currently pursuing my bachelor’s in civil engineering at the Singapore Institute of Technology (SIT). My interest in the built environment bloomed throughout my study at Singapore Polytechnic. Having graduated with a diploma in interior design, I was lucky to land in a place that offered opportunities to explore the built environment industry.
Started as a junior interior designer, I humbly work my way up over the years to undertake senior roles and eventually became a project manager. Being in a managerial position required me to lead my team of designers and a group of workers as well as coordinating projects on site. Seeding through multiple small to large-scale construction projects opened doors for me to network with clients, professional engineers, and architects. The exposure working and coordinating for an inter-terrace additional and alteration (A&A) renovation subsequently ignited the interest to further my studies in civil engineering.
Being the extrovert I am, forming relationships with strangers is a strength I recognise. As a designer, I frequently had to pitch my design ideas to client's. Hence presenting to small groups is something I am comfortable with. However, as a scholar I often find myself having to present ideas to large groups. My weakness in giving spontaneous presentations to large groups as well as in answering questions gives me the butterflies.
Under your tutelage, I would like to refine my writing skills by keeping the contents clear and concise. Most importantly, I hope to build confidence in speaking to large groups with calm and clarity. With your guidance, I strive to hone my communication skills which I believe will be an asset for an aspiring professional civil engineer. I look forward to learning more from you in the coming classes.
Warmest regards,
Syakirah
Revised: 8 April 2021
Commented on: Jeremy, Ming Ze, Asyraf, Iqbal, Aisyah
Thanks so much, Syakirah! I look forward to reading this letter and learning more about you, and to seeing comments from your peers.
ReplyDeleteHi, Syakirah! I am impressed by your vocabulary that you used in the introduction letter. I have learned some new phrases such as " gives me the butterflies" instead of using make me nervous. I also like how you included your working experience in this email and stated some examples like who did you worked with and roughly what do you need to do in your position have made the content complete and clear. Hope you able to overcome your weakness through this module. Let's work hard together!
ReplyDeleteHi Ming Ze, thank you for taking the time to read my letter and for the comprehensive feedback; I truly appreciate it! Let’s work hard and ace this! 💥Fighting!💥
DeleteHi, Syakirah! Your email is coherent and courteous and I enjoyed reading it! I am also impressed on how you include your work experience. I hope you are able to achieve your goals in this module! Let's do this!
ReplyDeleteHi Iqbal, thank you for taking the time to read my letter and for the comments; I appreciate it! Let’s do this! 💥
DeleteDear Syakirah,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this well developed letter of introduction. You cover the various assignment requirements and add fine concrete detail. The sharing about your interior design experience and the way you developed an interest in engineering is especially telling in terms of how it allows us to see into your world and get to know something about your professional growth.
I also like the detail in the sections about a perceived strength and weakness in communication, and the way you tie those to your professional experience and needs. You can also rest assured knowing you will be having more speaking opportunities as the term progresses. I hope the module can do justice to your expectations. I also hope we can leverage your rich experience in project management going forward; you can be a mentor to the students in our class.
Your overall language fluency in this letter is quite good, but there are a couple issues I migt suggest you review:
1. words/phrases/collocation
-- to land myself in a place > to land in a place
-- Starting as a junior interior designer, I humbly work my way up over the years to undertake senior roles and eventually became a project manager. > (inconsistent verb tense)
-- subsequently ignite the interest > (verb tense) ?
2. sentence structure
-- required me to lead my team of designers, a group of workers as well as coordinating projects on site. > (lack of parallel structure)
required me to lead my team of designers and a group of workers as well as to coordinate projects on site.
-- I frequently had to pitch my design ideas to clients hence presenting to small groups is something I am comfortable with. > (run on sentence: two independent thought jamed together without punctuation)
I look forward to seeing how you can polish this letter and to working with you throughout the term.
Best wishes,
Brad
Dear Professor Blackstone,
DeleteThank you for your constructive feedback. I look forward to working with you on refining this letter. See you later in class!